A Guide to not having a nervous breakdown while searching for a job, any job. Please give me a job…

So if you are 20 something and a recent graduate, and have found yourself without a ‘career path’ in the current dire job market. And sadly you have had to move back home with the parents, who are instantaneously driving you mad after 5 minutes of walking through the door. Then this is the guide for you, written so that you do not hurt someone, break your computer or give yourself a nervous breakdown – you have a lot to live for (honestly!) and the future is bright! (perhaps not orange though; sorry I love these adverts in the cinema!).

Anyway, here are 10 Golden Rules when on the job hunt

1. Breathe. Its ok if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, why should you?! Don’t decide too quickly, or because you’re too scared and don’t think you have to choose one thing. The more versatile you are, willing to explore/take risks, the better off you’ll be.

2. DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS! I REPEAT DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS! Or your friends, or other members of your family, strangers on the street, politicians or economists, gurus, or even your therapist and so on and so forth. Its your life, you decide and obviously make mistakes; it’s usually the fun part!

3. Do ask for help! You may think this contradicts rule 2, but asking for help with your CV, job search etc is different to receiving advice. The only up side to advice is that you have someone to blame when it all goes wrong! And it will because you broke rule 2!

4. Any story that starts with ‘In my day’….AVOID! You’re not ‘in my day’ – you are here, now, and things are different; society has changed and the people who are harping back to the good or bad old days will not understand this i.e. revert back to rule 2!

5. Avoid people at all costs that tell you ‘the world doesn’t owe you anything’ – perhaps not but with this argument you don’t owe the world anything either. ITS YOUR LIFE! Always remember this when you feel a sense of responsibility to family, society etc. The only responsibility you have is to yourself; the rest will come after.

6. Allow yourself to get depressed, to feel defeated and frustrated. This is natural, and the more you deny yourself a vent, the more you vent through your applications. No one wants to employ someone with anger management issues.

7. So if it all gets too much, and you are taking these frustrations out on boyfriends, sisters, friends, or they’re just offering unwanted advice. Get a punching bag, put on some Rage – killing in the name of, or go to a bridge or the highest building you can, and scream at the world! Because sometimes its sucks, and you can say it! (Just don’t throw yourself off!)

8. Don’t do job applications drunk, or interviews for that matter.

9. Don’t feel like you have to be applying all the time, take a break, have a Kit Kat. Have a holiday from your job of applying for jobs!

10. If all else fails, give up! Your life is over because obviously your job defines who you are! OK, so this is melodramatic, but sometimes it feels like that. So lets learn from previous generations’ mistakes.

After all, we wouldn’t be in this mess if previous generations had!


One thought on “A Guide to not having a nervous breakdown while searching for a job, any job. Please give me a job…

  1. Dear Authour

    Thank you so much I’ve been hating myself for the past month because I can’t find work in either print or tv journalism even though I put my nose to the grindstone in college. I felt like a failure but maybe I was just putting too much pressure in myself. I’m working two part time jobs so I have some income. I’m not going to worry about money as much as my conselor thinks I should.

    Thanks again

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